To Come Back, Always
by witchenmoon1
Summary: A few years after Endless Waltz. Heero has been avoiding Relena causing her to become depressed and dependent on her politics and ideals to get her through the day. What happens when he comes back? Or has he never left? 1XR
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Gundam Wing Characters.

To come back…always

The shadows of the night stretched long over every surface. Through the windows the moonlight lit only a small fraction of the room making only well adjusted human eyes able to perceive what normally would have been unreadable.

His eyes shifted cautiously about the room and they rested momentarily against the small form of a body fast asleep on one side of a large bed. He traced the outline of the shadowy form. Its curves accentuated through the thin sheet that barely covered it. He sat lightly on the bed but hesitated to touch it lest he wake it.

He gave a slight smile as his thoughts retracted to a few hours before. As soon as the smile came a frown took its place. He felt stupid and immeasurable. It was a mistake. He turned away from the silent form and with one last glance back towards it, disappeared into the shadows the moonlight cast.

* * *

Relena Peacecraft had always been strong of spirit but she was weak of heart. She was a young girl when she first met him and she had loved him even then. When he left her constantly during the war the only reprieve she got was when he came back for her…always. Even when she thought all hope was lost he would be by her side, strong and brave. His strength was her strength, her ideals had been derived from him and for him. She wanted to keep him safe, so he would always be able to come back to her. After the Marimeia incident he left and she didn't see him. She kept strong her ideals hoping one day he would come back for her, because he could. The world was no longer in danger, yet something was keeping him away. She felt her world shatter with each passing day knowing she may never see him again.

All she had left to her was her work. As vice-foreign minister she was constantly busy, but she made sure she kept even busier. She was so busy; she never had a thought to herself, which was what she wanted. She didn't want time to think. Thinking was dangerous. It made herself conscious and it made her miserable. She began to think of everyone she missed and everything that had changed.

She would think of her brother, Milliardo. He was elusive from everyone, even her. He loved her terribly but like most men brought up in war, his capacity to express his feelings openly was limited. She lived with many men like this. Things one would normally consider rude was actually a stretch of affection for them. He was always away and he always kept busy. Every once in a while he would call in to her for some diplomatic reason or another, but there was always that lingering silence at the end where he would attempt to be sociable.

Lucrezia Noin had abdicated her last name for Peacecraft shortly after the war ended in a small elopement ceremony. As far as Relena understood she was pregnant with their first child. Milliardo had been very unforthcoming with the information and she respected his distance. Eventually, she would be able to see the new baby and she didn't chastise him for wanting safety. Unlike her, he spent most of his life avoiding the media and paparazzi and it was just as well.

She had no choice.

Her thoughts swirled to the other people who she had come to make an acquaintance with over the years.

After her mental breakdown Lady Une had attended clinics to help strengthen her self-esteem and awareness but nothing but her young ward, little Marimeia, helped more than anything. The young red-headed girl had grown into a young beauty. Already men were after her as suitors but Une was very protective of her. In some ways it almost seemed Une felt she owed it to Treize to watch over his only child, but it was more than that. The girl kept her connected to the world around her and it made her a better person for it. Although Relena hated it when Une overexerted herself she had become the director of the Preventors. Sally Po would have taken the position but she preferred the flexibility as employee. She also liked the flexibility of employee relations.

Chang Wui-fe had kept a wary eye on her since they first met, but stubborn to the bone it had taken a lot of initiative for him to make the first move and open relations with Sally. Relena also suspected that although he was a soldier he was also still a boy and Sally Po was a very intimidating older woman. He was probably merely waiting until he felt mature enough and confident in his own age to pursue relations. They had dated for so long Relena thought he would never propose and of course he didn't…first. Sally was patient but being older by a few years she was also worried about how much older she would have to be and eventually pushed him into proposing to her by goading him on, by pretending to insinuate she would be the one asking him. Eventually his stubbornness was his own demise and he couldn't face himself again if he let her do that and decided it would be best if he asked first. She accepted quickly for fear he may change his mind. They didn't even bother with a wedding either and Relena feared she would never get to attend a real wedding between two people who actually _loved_ each other. The swarm of political engagements and receptions made her nauseated at all the fake facades.

There was only one person at such engagements that kept her in check with reality. Quatre Winner who had taken on his father's position as heir still maintained good relations with Relena. He was the most cordial of all the politicians and nobles. She couldn't imagine how her political career would have survived without his suggestions and his caring atonements. At one point she had even considered him for a possible suitor, but she knew their combined history together kept them well out of each other's leagues. Besides, he had his eyes set on Dorothy Catalonia. In his position she had the family connections and her own political standing to make for a very sought after companion, but they were often busy and it had only been recently that they had begun dating. Sure there was the political aspect of their relationship but he was impressed with her knowledge and skills in many things. She was impressed with his sincerity and honesty. Together they complimented each other. For a while after the war she had dated Trowa Barton, but he was too fickle and not reliable enough for her and that is when she came to realize Quatre as a companion.

Trowa on the other hand went from job to job. He liked working in the circus but he felt disoriented after his last encounter. He had left the circus in shambles and although the ring master had built it up again and was eager for Trowa to return, Trowa felt uncompelled. He felt unsettled resting in one place too long and often went from job to job until he made a standing record for longest employment with his present job with the Preventors. As far as Relena knew he still kept in contact with Cathy but she wasn't sure to what extent. Relena felt so out of the loop with everyone. Besides Quatre the only other people she really kept in touch with from the old days were the Maxwells.

After the Marimeia incident, it took only a year before Duo and Hilde got married in a small yet flaunting wedding. There weren't many people but it was a lot of fun. It was one of Relena's happier memories. They had already settled down and barely a year later Hilde was pregnant and then many months later the Famous duo was born. Two boys with as much mischief inherited in them as possible from their father. It was all Hilde could do to keep them reined in. Especially since they had recently added the addition of a little baby girl to their already extending family and there was little hopes of it stopping there. On the rare occasion Relena got a chance to visit them and it felt so nice and comforting to visit a real family and be involved in real family activities. She was so used to being stuffed up in her mansion all alone, with only Peygan to keep her company. Her old butler was her only companion nowadays it seemed. Especially when she longed for so much more.

When she visited Duo and Hilde it was all she could do not to be exhausted with happiness and reluctant at her own. She wanted what they had. She wanted someone to love and maybe even eventually have a family with. Her thoughts drifted so suddenly to Heero she had to jolt herself to reality. It had been five long years since Marimeia and his sudden disappearance but yet she still yearned for him. She knew Duo had seen him at least a few times in that span of time but he could tell her nothing. She had no idea why he had left her, again. She just wanted him to come back to her and rescue her from her miserable life.

Sally Po was her personal medical physician. And the long doctor appointments she was prone to mostly due to aches and pains related to stress was one of the only ways she ever got a chance to really open up to somebody. Sally was an attentive listener and she gave practical responses. Dorothy also served as a personal confidante. They worried for her health because she worked far too much and often a vacation was suggested but she always refused. She couldn't afford to take a vacation with all the work she had to do. It was hard to believe she was only in her early twenties.

If nothing else her talks with Dorothy helped her realize maybe the only reason she was in love with Heero Yuy was because of the adventure he offered. He was precisely the man that could take her breath away and the thrill of it excited her. Mainly it was just managing to get over him that was the hardest part.

But she doubted he would ever come for her. In five years since he disappeared she doubted he had even thought of her. He would not come for her unless she was in danger, but Lady Une, Sally, Wufei, Trowa and Duo made sure she was safe all the time. Wufei was with her mostly during the day but occasionally Duo filled his place and Trowa was often her nighttime escort.

She knew she was in steady hands, but she began to worry when her normal guard doubled and her private guards became more protective of her. Usually they were never within her sight especially Trowa, but lately they had been hanging closer to her, trying to act oblivious to the change and they crossed the line when Trowa had tried to stand guard inside of her room as a "precaution."

She became fed up with it and made it a point to bring it up with Une angrily. She hated being left out of news that pertained to her, especially if it was something important.

"Lady Une, I want to know what is going on and now!" She had very nearly stormed into Lady Une's office all the while trying to manage as much decency as possible. She stared at Lady Une levelly who merely shifted her papers softly and quietly knowing full well how angry Relena was.

"Relena, we thought no need to involve you in such matters. It…"

"We? Who are we? And what matters? I would like to know what is going on." Une studied her for a moment and shifting some more papers looked her squarely in the eyes, all the while keeping her hands busy.

"The Preventors received an anonymous tip that your life would become threatened. We have taken the necessary precautions in such a situation but have found no other evidence otherwise. I assure you the precautions are only temporary until we are sure of your safety." Relena was silent for a moment.

"Who sent the tip in?" Lady Une looked at her flatly and a hint of slight annoyance crossed her features.

"I told you it was anonymous. We have not been able to ascertain the identity of our tip." Lady Une became annoyed with the present conversation and handed Relena the daily reports and ushered her out of the room.

Relena was on edge all day and nervous. She could tell why the Preventors had not wanted to mention anything. They hadn't wanted her to know. She tried to console herself with the fact that she knew what was going on and that was better than not knowing and so like everything else she tried to keep her mind off of, she piled her work higher.

After her lunch break Wufei followed her a few steps behind and she walked to her secretary.

"Oh Miss Relena! The Delegates called and wanted to inform you that due to scheduling purposes their moving next month's conference up to next week." Relena stopped in her tracks.

"What?" She tried to scream the word but it came out as a breathless mumble. Her mind began to whirl. There were still so many preparations to be done.

_Well at least I won't be able to focus on an assassination attempt._ She thought to herself. Then she groaned to herself and spent rest of the day at her desk.

It was nightfall when she heard a knock on her door.

Duo came tromping in his braid swinging behind him. In the 5 years of peace he still maintained a sharp physique due to the rigorous training schedules of Preventors, but he had grown much taller and the angles of his body and face had become sharper and more defined as the last of his childish fat had slipped away. All of the ex-gundam pilots had matured and defined into handsome men. Well the ones she knew had anyways.

_Heero._

She shook her head of such thoughts.

"Hey Lena, Wufei said you were still up here. What are you doin'? Shouldn't you be home asleep?" Duo said looking at his watch.

"It's almost Trowa's shift and he is going to be wondering where you are. Come on I'll escort you home." Relena was reluctant to leave after not meeting her goals but after being dragged far enough she decided just to walk on her own and followed Duo.

Every night for the next week seemed to be like this. She felt totally unprepared for the conference and cursed the delegates for changing schedules on her. She made sure of course not to show any intention of cursing.

This was her time to put forth her opinions and prove her worth to the people of the colonies and Earth and to the delegates. Many still doubted her ideals because of her youth and gender but year after year she had proved them wrong and she wasn't about to change now.

The ride to the conference was an uneasy one. She sat and rehearsed her speech many times in her head and under her breath. Wufei muttered under his breath at her ceaseless attempts. For some reason his mutterings set her at ease. Everything was as it should be.

Strangely it wasn't nervous for her to stand up in front of the crowds of people with lights and cameras blaring at her. She knew what she said had a purpose and she wanted everyone to hear it.

She felt her well practiced words flow through her eloquently. She looked into the eyes of the people, searching for some sign of approval. She searched around the room like she did during every speech and her eyes caught sight of a flicker of recognition. Her words still flowed smoothly although she tried to shake her anxious feeling.

She felt the hairs on her arm stand on end and then her eyes shifted to a spot were the crowd became restless. A shadow enveloped her and there was a loud _crack _and everything went black.

* * *

She awoke suddenly and felt a sudden spinning in the dark room she was in. Her head throbbed and she tried to open her eyes enough to find out where she was. She looked around the comfortable room and realized it was her own. Looking down the length of her body, she saw that she was still in the dress she had worn to the conference. She tried to sit up groggily and the pounding in her head increased. Someone had already taken her shoes off and she looked around.

She knew her headache wouldn't let up unless she did something about it since sleep seemed out of the question. She looked around suddenly and wondered where Trowa was. She hadn't seen him yet, but she guessed he was nearby. She undressed to get the weight of her garment off and took off all her jewelry. It felt better with her hair down and in its natural state again. Casually, she moved her hair around and gave it a couple strokes with a brush before slipping into a robe.

Her stomach rumbled in hunger and she knew she wouldn't be able to get to sleep without a midnight snack. She looked at her clock.

_Well a two o'clock snack anyways._

She went down the stairs lightly and entered through the back entrance to the kitchen. She went to the cupboards of her kitchen and pulled out a glass. She waited until the water ran cool before filling her glass. She took a quick sip, but her ears perked at a distant sound. It was a low hum but as her headache began to dissipate slightly she could make out quiet murmurs. She moved slowly about the kitchen towards the sound that was coming from a nearby sitting room. Whoever it was hadn't heard her yet. She felt vulnerable but she had time to think of something quick.

There were a number of guns around the house hidden in case just such an emergency should occur. Looking across the kitchen towards the door where the sounds were coming from, she tiptoed over and felt her hand shaking. The glass of water was still in her grip. She leaned closer to the door and heard some familiar voices. There was a woman's voice, deep and thick. It sounded like Sally's.

"You shouldn't keep putting yourself at risk. You are still young and one day these scars are going to…" At that moment Relena had opened the door a little to see who had been injured and the glass in her hand shattered when it hit the floor.

Sally's voice stopped.

As the shards of glass bounced it scraped against her ankles and she suddenly regretted not wearing slippers as her toes also met the same fate. She tried to back up and ended stumbling and landing on her hind quarters.

"Relena!" Sally Po was beside her at once as well as Duo and Wufei. Trowa appeared out of the dark behind her but her eyes didn't focus on any of them. Her eyes remained focus on the tall figure partly shrouded in shadow. His unruly dark hair fell across his eyes making him all the more mysterious. His deep blue eyes stared into the depths of her soul and for a moment it was as if her heart couldn't beat.

_He came back. After all these years. He came back._

She realized the others had gone quiet and she shook her head back to reality. She saw their sad attempts at hiding their feelings. There seemed to be a glint of happiness in each of them and Trowa for sure was supplying a smirk. She turned back to the tall dark figure. He was still there. Her mind wasn't fooling her. He started to step towards her and the others backed away hesitantly. He bent down slowly and took her small form into his arms. He had grown stronger since she had last seen him and taller. When they were youths their heights hadn't been too different but he had since matured into a fully gown figure and had reached his full potential. The expression on his face was the same mask he had always worn, so emotionless. He didn't stare down at her as she wrapped her fingers loosely about his neck as if the touch of his skin was the most extraordinary thing she could experience. A part of her had to keep reassuring herself he was still real and he was still with her.

She didn't realize how long it took for her to get to her room but he laid her gently back on her bed before she realized where she was. She watched him slowly turn on a few lights but instead of his eyes going straight to hers, as she wished, he leaned down and traced a hand along her smooth legs to find where she had been cut. He examined her thoroughly before turning and with a hint of hesitation heading to the mirror in her bathroom that served as a door into a small medicine cabinet. There were a few bandages in there and with a damp cloth he returned and began to clean her cuts and bandage them perfectly.

There was a lump in her throat as she fought back tears but still he wouldn't rest his eyes on her again. All was quiet downstairs or at least as much as she could tell, but her thoughts wouldn't tear away from him.

"Heero." She whispered so breathlessly she wondered if she had said anything at all. His head turned to her then and she knew he had heard her.

"Relena." He said her name. His blue eyes bore through her once again. She missed him, but she couldn't tell him and she didn't think she had to. She wondered if he had missed her. After a moment of looking at her he turned back to his work. She tried to gain control of her thoughts but the questions that bombed her mind were too overwhelming. Her pulse quickened in the anxiety of finding the right words but she couldn't think of anything. Finally, the words formed in her head.

"What made you come back?" He had just finished his bandaging and turned to look at her.

"You needed help." Her mind swarmed back to the conference and the loud noise she had heard and she became confused.

"The conference…I…" She was at a loss of words to say.

"There was an assassin. He was very good and he had been tracking you for at least a month. I'm not sure of his affiliations yet, but he was a hired professional." There seemed to be a smirk in his voice. Her old self was coming back now after the shock of him being there finally set in. All the anger she felt at being left. She knew he would do it, but she hadn't wanted to believe it. With no war she had hoped…well it didn't matter anymore. She narrowed her eyes slightly.

"You could have let me die." That smirk deepened and he turned away from her and began to head out of the room, slowly turning off the dim lights he had turned on.

"Heero." He stopped wearily at the door the silhouette of his body cast in shadow. His face turned a bit just enough so she could see the outline of his features but his eyes would still not rest on hers.

"Promise me you won't leave without telling me." The words echoed in her mind as she thought about the familiarity of them. He gave a slight nod as he shut the door behind him. She stared into the darkness for a bit before settling her body down for sleep. Her dreams were happy.

* * *

"Heero Yuy, what have you to report." Lady Une watched him from beneath her glasses studying him.

"He was a professional hired hand. I have some idea about who hired him, but he left no easily detectable traces." Lady Une sat behind her desk.

"You know my offer still stands with a position in the Preventors."

"I have always worked with the Preventors." He said sternly. Lady Une gave a smile.

"Yes you have, but never _for_ the Preventors. I appreciate your anonymous tips, but don't you think Relena would be safer with you as her protector." There it was, the famous death glare. The Perfect Soldier stared at her mercilessly like a patient predator. Une did not give in easily.

"Look Heero my offer stands as always, the Preventors would be better for it if you joined us and so would Relena." Barely finishing her sentence, Une knew it was hopeless. Heero left her office without another word resuming his emotionless mask.

"Hey Heero!" Duo always energetic bounded into the hallway behind Heero his braid jerking across his back until it finally came to settle still. Heero paid no heed and continued walking on his way with Duo, still catching his breath trailing behind him hurriedly.

"Heero, slow down. Where have you been man? No one has seen you in a while." Heero grunted.

"He's been running away." As they rounded the corner Trowa stood cross armed against the wall. His hair covered his eyes and he looked up and met Heero's eyes.

"I'm not running away." Heero muttered. He hid his feelings discretely behind his mask.

"The war is over Heero, what _have_ you been doing?" Trowa's voice was soft and the penetrating stare passed more than enough information between them. Of all the pilots Trowa could understand Heero the most. He was watchful and he was an apt judgment of character but more than anything he was more alike Heero than anyone else.

Heero gave him one last glare and tried to walk past him. Trowa let him but Heero had barely gotten a foot away when Trowa spoke up once more.

"The assassin may be dead but the threat is still at large. Someone should be there to protect Relena." Heero stopped for a moment his head turning slightly and then continued on his way. Duo gave a wide grin.

"That boy has still got it bad. I don't know why he fights it." Trowa smirked and walked away. Duo's words still echoed in his mind.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Really long chapter! Please review!**

Relena was anxious throughout the day. She thought he would come to her, but she knew she shouldn't expect much. She wouldn't be surprised if he had already left. Her secretary had scheduled a press conference to discuss the incident at the Conference. She sighed at the thought of it. Any moment Lady Une would walk in to escort her and as she thought this, she heard a knock on the door to her office.

"Come in." She called quietly. Just as expected Lady Une stepped in with her usual demeanor. Relena began to get up and shuffle her papers.

"Miss Relena I want to speak to you about something first." Lady Une gave Relena a stare that meant it was important. Relena looked up quizzically expecting her gaze would be enough for the Lady to finish her statement.

"I want to make sure that you are still capable of handling your responsibilities. I also was going to ask Heero to become a personal guard for you, but I wanted to have your consent first." Relena felt her hands begin to shake at the thought and she tried to shake herself back to reality before Une realized. Une's eyes narrowed apprehensively aware of everything.

"I will respect whatever choice you decide to make. Heero is a friend of mine I just hope it wouldn't hinder his own responsibilities." It was a diplomatic response, something she was used to giving. Une watched her for another moment and then stood aside so Relena could pass.

Relena was apprehensive as always. Wufei and Trowa flanked her as they walked up the steps of the building where she would giver her press conference. All around her reporters shoved microphones into her face.

"Miss Relena, do you suspect…"

"What have the Preventors done…"

"…who is behind…" She blocked out their ceaseless questions. Une paid them no mind and neither did her guard. They were focused on her and her safety and nothing more.

She waited next to the podium to be introduced and finally stepped up. Her peripheral vision drifted over the figures to either side of her. Wufei stood on her right hidden in the shadows and Trowa was on her left hidden as well. She took a deep breath and walked to the podium and the throng of people seemed to swarm around her. There were too many questions and her mind jostled around trying to keep track. Finally Lady Une took a step and called for silence and like schoolchildren they all raised their hands. This was an interesting game. While they raised their hands she would look for some of the more interesting faces and call upon them.

One question swirled in her mind after another and she answered diplomatically. Then she saw a shadow off to the side just as she had before.

_Heero._

Her mind jumped and her heart throbbed but then she saw his indistinct figure lift a gun and the loud retort echoed against the walls. Screams issued and many of the more sensible had fallen to the floor with their hands covering her head. She stood entranced and looked to where one man in the middle of the room had fallen. The Preventors flanked her on either side and Lady Une was by her side echoing orders and she watched the other Preventors beside the man. People began to file out unevenly through the doors and she was ushered out of the room and back into her limousine under the cover of her guards. When she got there, the familiar form of Heero was waiting inside. He sat waiting patiently his eyes averted from those who entered.

When Lady Une stepped in and seated herself she seemed unsurprised to see him. Wufei and Trowa were of like mind and merely stared into nothingness.

"I accept your proposal." She merely nodded and his eyes flashed towards Relena, his famous death glare gracing her with its presence. She found some comfort in the familiarity of it or maybe it was the fact she would be seeing him a lot more. That comforted her too.

Heero began his guard duties at night and she felt nervous just as she had when the other gundam pilots had begun their guard duties. She preferred them above anyone else, especially a stranger, but because of their friendship with her it made her a little nervous. She had had nothing to fear from them before. They had been kids, the boys still wiry and growing into their figures, but now they were men and she was a woman. She hadn't seen Heero in years. He had changed, physically to say the least. She was apprehensive of him seeing her when she wasn't at her best, but she struggled with her nerves and tried to pretend as if everything was normal.

She prepared for bed and tried to sleep but when she looked at her clock and it was almost three, she sighed and rolled over in her bed. She was restless. She had to do something to set her at ease. For some reason her thoughts lingered to getting some tea. She was warm and comfortable in her bed but the cool feel of the air on her feet made her feel better.

Wrapping her robe around her, she opened her door. There was no one there and she thought it odd. Usually Trowa was outside waiting for her, staying vigil all night. She had to remind herself it was Heero's watch and she unconsciously hugged her robe closer to her. She walked down the stairs and listened to see if she could hear anything. All she could make out was the soft padding of her feet and the swishing of her clothes. The darkness and emptiness of her house suddenly made her feet all alone and she mechanically hugged her robe even tighter to her.

She stepped into her kitchen and put on a small light. She started to warm the water for her tea and felt a sense of relief at it. For some reason she had not wanted to turn on the big lights in case she woke one of the servants. In the time it took the water to heat, she stared into nothingness letting her thoughts cloud over in her mind. Automatically her thoughts went to Heero. There was so much history between them and she was sure she had felt something between them all those years ago but did he feel the same? She wasn't so sure. His feelings were hidden deeply beneath his mask.

"Heero." She whispered.

"You're up late." She jumped at the sound of his voice, her thoughts suddenly interrupted. Heero was standing right in front of her. He was clad in a Preventor uniform but he had taken his jacket off and was just in his shirt and pants. She stared at him fully able to take in his physique. He was still strong and muscular, the evidence of which was evident through the thin shirt. Her mind traced over his form and she felt a longing deep within her. She fought back any sudden thoughts and looked back up to meet his watchful gaze.

He knew she had been studying him. A blush crept up her face and she fought it off. He smirked at her. Memory of what manners were suddenly found her.

"I'm just making some tea." With his arms crossed, he looked stunning in the shadows. They suited him. Maybe it was the mystery that had always drawn her to him but the feeling she thought she had buried long ago arose.

"I see that." He said plainly. She checked the water subtly seeing how ready it was. Suddenly anger began to flood over her. She could risk her life everyday, speak in front of thousands but she could not speak to the only person who had ever mattered. It was a hard fought battle to still that anger, that anxiety for the one person who could unsettle her and calm her all at once.

She remembered so long ago the last words he had said to her.

_I don't want to fight anymore._ They were the reason she was as she was. She was doing everything in her power to keep him from fighting. Hopefully with nothing to fight for he would come to her.

"Would you like some?" Fighting her thought away, she offered him the tea. The water was hot enough for her liking and she began to pour some into a cup. She had taken out another cup even though he had not given a response to her question. He took the cup when she offered it but he didn't drink it. He just held it.

Millions of questions swarmed through her head. She wanted to know why he had left, what he had been doing, where he had gone. Who, what, when, where, how? She wanted to know everything but it was improper and she knew Heero wouldn't respond anyways, but curiosity got the best of her with at least one question.

"Heero?"

"Hnh?"

"Why did you leave all those years ago?" His gaze looked away from her. She felt her heart beat awaiting an answer. Awaiting an answer she knew would never come.

"You should get some sleep." He didn't move. He wouldn't move until she did. He wouldn't leave her alone, would he?

"Heero?" She wasn't sure if she just missed saying his name or if she was trying to remind herself he was actually there, in her kitchen, right in front of her.

"I never left." He whispered. She felt a shock go through her system. He had always been here. She was sure he meant he had always been near to her. She knew Trowa and Duo had mentioned seeing him. Even Quatre had seen him around. She felt suddenly embarrassed. She was the only one who hadn't seen him. So then why was he avoiding her? Her of all people.

She finished her tea and laid everything down in the sink. She went upstairs without another word and somehow the comfort of his shadow behind her made her feel better. When she was younger she knew he had felt for her and the thought of it had been enlightening. He left her back then too, but only because he was fighting for peace and she knew he would always come back. She wasn't sure if that faith she had in him was still with her or not.

Eventually sleep welcomed her into its embrace and she dreamt silent dreams.

It took a week but she finally managed to wiggle out of all her duties and take a day off to spend with Duo and Hilde. Of all her friends they were the most down to earth and she enjoyed spending time with their children. She hadn't gotten a chance to meet their new baby girl and she was excited. It was almost a reunion of sorts, Trowa and Wufei were going to be with her as always and Quatre had flown in for some political business and had agreed to come by for a visit, even if it was short. Heero was the only one she would have trouble reining in, but it wasn't his shift, yet she wondered if he wanted to come anyways. She decided to leave him to his own decisions.

She had enjoyed having him as a guard and giving Trowa a break. She found herself purposefully staying awake just to spend time with him. She found herself purposefully taking a stroll out in her gardens and letting herself be cold or reading a book into the late hours. It didn't matter, he was there with her. He didn't speak much but his eyes followed her wherever she went. She knew his eyes watched her and when she met his gaze he didn't look away embarrassed. His gaze remained unwavering and she felt herself flattered at his attention. But whether it was attention to safety or if it was just her, she couldn't tell, but she desperately hoped it was the latter.

She let herself be walked to her car so she could drive to Duo's and Hilde's. Excitement was rolling off of her when she got there and Quatre had already arrived. It had been so long since she had seen him.

"Relena!" Hilde ran out to meet her and embraced Relena warmly.

"Oh Hilde, how are you? Where's the baby?" Relena looked around pass Hilde to see if she could see if anyone else was there.

"She's with her father and the twins are running around here somewhere. Poor Quatre has had his hands full for the past few minutes." Hilde gave a giggle and Relena walked past her and her friend became infatuated with Trowa and Wufei. She came in and saw Duo sitting on his couch with his baby nuzzled in his arms with a bottle in his hand. It was such an odd feeling to see the man who had fought for so long who was battle experienced holding a baby and a girl at that. Relena sat beside him suddenly fascinated with the tiny child.

"Relena!" She stood up as Quatre came in from outside with two miniature Duos hanging on his legs.

"Quatre!" She jumped up to embrace him and patted the little trouble makers on the head.

"Duo I would never have believed it until I saw it, but your kids are exactly like you." Duo grinned back at them.

"Don't tell Hilde, but I think they got all their good looks from me." He grinned some more.

"What was that, Duo?" Hilde walked in followed by Trowa and Wufei.

"Nothing Hilde darling."

"Oh I think I hear another car, maybe that's Sally. Oh Quatre, is Dorothy coming?" Quatre looked up at Hilde surprised at the sudden change in subject.

"No she was too busy to make it and sends her regrets." Relena frowned.

"Oh I was hoping to see her." Relena gave a bit of a pout but when the baby gurgled she turned her attention back to the baby.

"Hey Heero, could you help me get the plates out." When the door rang Duo was up and opened the door for Sally. Sally walked in, but Relena hadn't registered her yet. She looked up looking around hurriedly for Heero. She couldn't imagine how she had missed him. He must have gotten to the house before she did. It almost unsettled her, but she saw he was paying her no mind. In fact, he had been standing quietly almost as if he was annoyed at the whole scene but everyone knew he really wasn't. Unlike before, his eyes had not been on Relena instead they were bored and tracing the children around like they were rates. It almost unsettled her. She had gotten so used to his attention that for it to be anywhere else was just odd. Searching her mind she knew she had to change the subject before her obsession became complete.

"So will you all be able to make it to my dinner party next week?" She looked to Quatre first and he grinned.

"I managed to change my plans so I could save the night for your dinner, Miss Relena." She gave him a sweet smile. He always insisted on calling her Miss Relena. It had not been merely so prominent until he started to date Dorothy and then the name just sort of stuck. She turned her gaze on her Preventor friends.

"Don't worry little miss, the Preventors will be double duty that night and we'll be looking pretty sharp too in our tuxedos. Une thinks it will look more professional." Duo offered as he turned his gaze from somewhere other than a drooling baby. She gave a nice smile to Duo and looked over to Hilde and Sally.

"Oh Relena I'm sorry, I wish I could go, but I wasn't able to find a babysitter that night so I'm on mommy duty." Hilde smiled at her as she grabbed one of her boys and wiped their face. It seemed she was always wiping some mess of the boys.

"Sorry Relena I think it's just you and the boys, I'm working double shift in the medical wing that night." Sally was straight forward as she headed over to sit beside Wufei. He grunted and Relena felt privileged to recognize the look of affection that passed between them momentarily. Her guard was left with a slight smile on his usually somber face.

"Well if it pleases you to know Relena, Dorothy will be flying in that morning so expect to see her there." Quatre offered seeing her disappointment at the lack of many of her close friends being unable to come. At the thought of seeing Dorothy again she brightened.

"That is if I can tear her away from your side!" She laughed with everyone else. Heero came to stand within her line of sight and saw a slight smirk on his face.

"Heero, will you be attending?" In a moment of weakness she had to ask him. His eyes met hers.

"I'll be on duty that night." He said in his monotone voice. She felt a sudden relief and she hoped no one else noticed. She turned her attention back to the baby and offered to hold the tiny infant in her arms.

The rest of the night was exhilarating and she felt relieved to drink regular alcohol than the usually exquisite wine often served. It was a relief to be among friends rather than politicians. The dryness of the political world was often so boring it made it hard for Relena to remember why she was even there. But among friends, she could be herself and for once have fun.

The night was relaxing but eventually when Wufei and Sally left with Trowa in tow and Quatre had to leave as well she found the silence uncomfortable. She wobbled a little towards Due and Hilde and they looked at Heero. She had not slept much and was tired. Heero looked at her absently and offered to drive her home.

She felt her weariness coarse in and out of her during the long ride. Somehow she had ended up in the backseat of her car. It wasn't until Heero lifted her up from the car cradling her, she felt suddenly weak and nauseous. As she drifted in and out, her thoughts circled on the only thing she thought of these days.

"Heero." She murmured. After a few moments, her murmurs became unintelligible. Heero carried her swiftly hoping to get her to bed before she passed out.

"Heero." She murmured again.

"Hnh?" He replied. Her murmuring increased but nothing else made sense. He laid her down on her bed. When he touched a hand to her head, her skin felt hot and moist. She was beginning to sweat as fever began to sweep in. Gently and with such ease, he took her shoes off and put her under the covers of her bed. He left her alone for a few minutes before returning with a glass of water to help her keep hydrated.

Reaching for the phone next to her bed, he watched as she started to twist uncomfortably in her bed. He dialed Sally Po's number and had to talk his way through an outrageous Wufei upset at having his sleep disturbed. Finally, he got Sally on the line and she promised to be at the house soon to check on Relena. Heero realized visibly, though he would never have admitted to it, he was nervous.

He wiped the sweat from her brow and his nerves threatened him every time she called his name. She reached out her arms strangely and in no particular direction and he took her hands into his. She seemed to calm instantly and he felt better himself.

Sally was true to her word and she was there within minutes. Heero stayed back and watched Sally anxiously. After a few minutes Sally had finished her examinations.

"She has a fever and is a bit delirious, but it should lift in a few days. Make sure she stays hydrated and I'll leave some medicine to give to her." Heero nodded and took the bottle into his hands.

"I'll come in to look in on her tomorrow." Heero nodded and let her walk herself out. Sally would leave to return home and go to bed. Without another thought the older woman would sleep peacefully but it was not so for Relena.

Relena tossed and turn, she felt hot and cold all at one. Dreams, good and bad circled her memory, plucking from them and confusing them. She felt guns constantly being pointed at her, against her and only one person was standing in the way of them.

_Heero._

He was in her dreams too.

She wasn't sure how often she was woken. She heard voices around her. Some of them she recognized others she didn't.

"Lena…she…sleep…" It was Duo's nickname for her. Somehow in the depths of her blurry mind she recognized that. Warm arms carefully wrapped around her. She called out names into the night, but no one came. When she would wake enough to see, there were shadows all around her, terrifying ones. One of them stuffed some nasty liquid down her throat but when she closed her eyes again she slept some more. She wasn't sure how long this lasted but she finally awoke.

Her mind turned and the room spun only for a moment. Her eyes had to focus around the dark room. She felt sore and her stomach rumbled with hunger. She tried to sit up and looked over at her clock. It was early morning and she felt relief it had only been one night. She looked around and saw some bread on a tray beside the bed. She tried to sit up and felt weak and exhausted. Luckily, the bread was just within reach and she nibbled on the hard crust for a while uncertain of what else to do. Everything else had been such a blur she wasn't quite sure what had happened.

The hunk of bread made her feel suddenly better and she looked around some more wondering where everyone was. As if on cue, Wufei walked in and saw she was awake.

"So you finally woke up huh?" Relena looked at the clock again suddenly confused.

"You've been out for over a day. We weren't sure when the fever would lift. Give me a second and I'll go phone Sally." He was gone for only a few minutes and in that time she wondered where Heero was. Heero's vision or voice did not strike a bell in the muddled memories she was still trying to sort through. When she looked at the clock she realized it was his shift and he was not here. Had he really been that disgusted with her that he did not even show up for her shift. Her cheeks became warm and red at the thought as anger began to build up. Wufei was there for her and Heero hadn't been. She felt sick to her stomach just then. Her hunger was overwhelming. Before she could say anything else, Wufei was back with some hot soup.

"Sally will be here soon." He left her alone to eat in peace. Her thoughts circled back to the insensitivity of Heero. She couldn't believe he had left her with everyone else while she was sick. He had always been there for her when she needed him, even if she didn't know she needed him. Why was he not there while she was sick? Was it possible he didn't care for her after all this time?

Sally was there after she had finished her soup and checked up on her. Unfortunately, she decreed she could go back to work in a few days. Relena shook her head and piled out of her bed towards her study room. The piles of paper were staggering and she hadn't started on any. She worked all that day until she felt she could work no more and made sure to get up early the next day.

There were still a lot of preparations to make for her birthday party and everything kept her up well into the early hours of the morning. What was more, she still had to do her political duties as well and they were frustrating. Although Peygan pestered her fiercely to keep eating to regain her strength she still found it hard. She became more disheartening when Heero wasn't her guard for the nights that followed. It had set in her mind then that he no longer cared for her. She wanted to cry and tear up the teddy bear he had given her in pure fury but every time she took it in her arms she felt a sense of calm settle on her. She had loved that bear all these years, it had given her companionship when no one else could. So she stuffed it in a box buried under other boxes in her closet. She didn't want to see it, it only reminded her of pain.

The days passed slowly and terribly. The day of her birthday, she settled into her room and prepared herself. Out of her wardrobe she chose a beautiful dark blue dress, not unlike the one she had wanted to wear to her birthday party all those years ago. Memories of that dance with Heero clouded her. His touch, his voice. So close and near. It didn't matter what he said because in his tone was the inexplicable meaning she desperately wanted to hear now. She had only been in her school uniform but she had felt the most beautiful woman in the room, because he looked at her and no one else. Taking a deep breath, Relena fought back that time.

The anger of his rejection was more than she could handle. She realized all these years, all those suitors she had rejected had all been in earnest. She had been waiting on Heero. For some reason she believed he would be willing to settle down and marry her and be with her for the rest of their lives. What a fool.

He wasn't like that. He was a soldier, the Perfect Soldier. He was too wild and untamed to be turned into a normal person. He would never be normal and she was foolish to have ever expected that of him. It was what had attracted her to him in the first place. Then and there, she was resolved to get over him. He wasn't worth waiting her whole life for, was he?

Her clock wrung the hour and she knew her guests would be arriving soon. She went outside her room and saw Duo, Trowa, and Wufei all dashing in their tuxedos. Smiling at them she walked on to welcome her guests.

Peygan had already let a few guests in and she welcomed them heartily. Before she knew it her house was full of politicians and noblemen. She welcomed them all with a glass of champagne held aloft in hand. She took a few sips every now and then but made sure she didn't let the evening overcome her. Fear of her returning illness and fever warned her not to.

But during one greeting she looked over to the corner of the ballroom and her eyes caught.

"Miss Relena, may I inquire into who you are staring at?" Relena turned to come eye to eye with Dorothy. She hugged her friend warmly and looked back to where she was staring. The young man was still there. He was tall with well groomed blonde hair and a gentle face with delicious brown eyes. He was tall and in the prime of his youth. She felt compelled to him.

"Do you know who that is Dorothy?" Dorothy looked at him too and she saw a twinkle of recognition in her eyes. Leaning in closer, her ever so knowledgeable friend hoped to inform her.

"Yes he is a prominent politician among the colonies. I believe he is an associate of your brother Milliardo. His representative if I'm not mistaken. He's young but he has a voice the people want to listen to. Much like you." Dorothy gave her a knowing look and left her to her own thoughts. Normally Relena would have waited for the man to come to her. But she had never been interested in any man, other than that… Well it didn't matter, she was going to be adventurous for once and went up to talk to him as he finished a conversation with another politician.

"Excuse me, I don't believe we've met. I believe you're an associate of my brother?" Relena cleared her throat giving her hand to the man to welcome. The young man bowed gracefully to her and took her hand into his and kissed it gently. She felt a shock go through her spine.

"Allow me to introduce myself, Miss Peacecraft. My name is Robert Hanson. I am honored to represent Milliardo Peacecraft. He sends his regrets, he had very important matters to attend to that could not be overlooked." His voice was smooth and soft and he was gentle. She smiled to him, completely overlooking the fact her brother made another excuse not to see her. Her mind however fathomed an excuse. Lucrezia was with child and Milliardo obviously did not want to leave her while she was in her delicate condition.

"Don't worry, I am honored to meet you, Mr. Hanson. I have heard you have some interesting political views." She smiled and his eyes twinkled. As he discussed his views she became entranced in his voice. She felt entranced by every word he spoke. It was no wonder the people loved him. A lot of their views were similar and on the ones they differed they spent their time convincing each other with heated discussions. He made her laugh and blush as she hadn't in such a long time. He was perfect.

She let her eyes wander for a moment and cast her eyes on Quatre. He was talking to a man and her eyes became locked. Heero Yuy stepped out of the shadows and her gaze locked with his for a moment. He looked back to Robert whose voice had gotten softer and a bit irritated when he realized she wasn't listening to him. She turned to him her cheeks burning and excused herself.

She went to Quatre's side immediately.

"Relena, I heard you were ill a week ago. You seem to be in fine spirits this evening. So I take it your feeling better?" Quatre was smiling but when he gazed harder at her look and gaze that settled on his conversational partner he paled. Her anger almost seemed to explode when she looked at Heero. But she had to keep her lady-like disguise and buried those feeling deep down, but not deep enough.

"Yes, I believe I had a slight fever, and I'm sure I would have gotten better had my guard that night been more alert to my illness. All I remember was how caring Duo was to me during that time." The bite in her words made Quatre falter, but Heero seemed unconcerned.

"Yes I heard Duo was with you that day, but…" Quatre offered his voice beginning to slightly stutter. If there was anything he did not like it was confrontation. Relena caught her eyes turning slyly to Heero.

"Yes, Duo is a true friend and it is obvious his compassion for me is more than most." Relena cut off her friend hurriedly. Quatre gulped.

"Excuse me Relena, I believe Dorothy is waving me over to her." Quatre managed to slip away as quickly as he dared. She was left all alone with Heero and she gave him the most evil look she could muster.

"Relena…" He tried.

"No Heero. I relieve you from your duties. I never want to see you around me ever again." She turned away from him angrily and left to return to Robert Hanson's side. The young politician was pleased to have her return to his good graces and she made it appoint to seem pleased and infatuated with his attention.

She giggled and laughed all through the night with her handsome escort. At one point, he looked over to Dorothy and motioned towards her. Dorothy stood across the room with the figures of three men around her.

"I saw you talking to that young woman over there. I believe I haven't had the privilege of introductions. Would you?" Relena gazed in the direction of his hand, but when she looked over she saw Heero beside Dorothy. When her gaze darkened for a moment, she saw the other figures of Duo and Quatre and it caused her heart to lighten at for a moment. As they walked over another politician took Robert's attention and she proceeded over to the group without him. On cue, Heero excused himself and walked away. Dorothy saw the way Quatre's face colored and looked to Relena.

"What was that about Miss Relena?" Dorothy eyed her suspiciously. Quatre looked away embarrassed but Relena's anger burned.

"I have released Heero from his position. It seems he has not taken his duties seriously enough for me to keep him on staff." She watched Duo's brows furrow in confusion.

"Lena, what do you mean by that. If you're talking about the last couple of days, he had been assigned to a mission…"

"No I mean his lack of protection during my illness. I don't remember him being near me at all. When I awoke he had left earlier on his shift and left Wufei by himself. I consider that a lack of responsibility." Duo grinned and laughed. Dorothy watched this with amusement and Quatre in complete confusion.

"Girl, have you got it all wrong. Heero was beside your bed the whole time. He wouldn't sleep or eat. Une sent him away on a wild goose chase o a mission just to make him get some rest." Duo almost seemed to grin at the memory. Her eyes went wide with realization.

"You mean that wasn't you who was with me? But I heard your voice and I…" She choked on her words. Duo was laughing.

"I believe anyone could hear that voice from miles away." Dorothy's curt opinion cut through her and she looked around hurriedly to find Heero and apologize. Before she could she found herself in the arms of Robert once again.

"Miss Relena it really is a beautiful night. Care to take a turn in the gardens with me?" She tried to push him aside and looked over and saw Heero leaving the ballroom to go outside.

"I'm sorry, I'm a little busy…"

"Oh please Miss Relena, I won't take no for an answer. Allow me the pleasure of your company?" He took her in arm before she could stop him and swept her towards the gardens. Sighing to herself, she realized how stupid she had been to throw all of her attention at the man. Now he would assume her complete cooperation. No one else seemed to be about and she kept looking hurriedly around her to find Heero.

"You know, your eyes sparkle like the stars and you look more magnificent than any other Queen of the World before you." He grinned mischievously and put a finger to her chin and lifted it up. He bent in slowly and she turned hurriedly away.

"Please, I must…" His hands grabbed tighter around her waist in a firmer grip. She turned to him surprised at the look he began to give her. His grip tightened as his features turned from happy to forceful and hard.

"Excuse me, I don't appreciate…" She whispered, fear beginning to cloud her judgment. He put his lips forcefully to her and she pushed him away her eyes wide in horror ad disgust.

"Mr. Hanson! Please…" Her voice failed again as his hands fumbled about her form and then the feel of something firm against her stomach made her gasp. She looked down and saw the glint of metal. Her fingers became cold and she stood up straighter clearing her throat.

"I do believe you will listen to me now Miss Peacecraft. You stand in the way of nobility and justice. The colonies should be punished due to their indiscretions against the nobler blood. I thought you of all people should understand that and instead you horrified everyone and took the colonies side. You traitor." His voice beat against her ears and she felt her heart begin to beat faster and more wildly. If it was possible her eyes widened even more. The safety on the gun was unlocked and she gulped and then she saw the man freeze.

"Drop the gun." Another voice chimed in and relief instantly flooded over her. Looking sideways she matched the voice to the man. Heero stood there with his gun already at Robert's temple.

"You realize I could kill her any moment?" Robert offered evilly hoping it would sway the man who now held his life. Relena almost laughed. After all the times Heero had tried to kill her himself he was actually going to stop it.

"Do you really want to find out who is the faster killer?" Heero's voice was smooth, unwavering. There was not an ounce of fear or worry in it. It was enough to made Robert stiffen the slightest bit, but his gun drove closer into her flesh.

"Either way she will die. Are you willing to risk her?" Her captor whispered. She looked to Heero and knew she would never get out of this unless she made a move on her own. Moving her right hand slightly she tried to face the back of it to the other side of the gun. Quicker than she thought possible she backhanded the gun sideways. She heard it retort and gasped. Everything was quiet for a moment and she lifted her head from the floor and looked around. For some reason she had expected a sudden pain to overwhelm her but there was none.

"Heero?" She whispered. He was beside her in a moment and she looked over to where Robert Hanson lay dead in a pool of red blood. By that time the rest of the party had made its way outside and the Preventors were hurriedly ushering the guests out and to their cars. Within minutes everyone had left and Wufei was shouting orders. Heero didn't mind them instead he went over and helped her up from the ground.

"Come on." He took her by the arm rather gently and they traveled upstairs to her bedroom.

"Heero, please I want to apologize. I was wrong to assume you hadn't done anything for me, while I was sick. And I wanted to thank you, again." She looked at him and he was smiling, one of those rare smiles. She smiled back despite herself.

Everything was quiet and they just stared at each other and then he moved in closer to her his head almost touching her and his lips grazed hers. She felt her heart jump and on impulse she pushed herself deeper into his embrace.

He was so warm and loving and they remained like that for a while. His kisses became more urgent and his hands more adventurous. She welcomed him, yearned for him, and felt herself overcome with passion.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Very short sorry! But I didn't want to make it too long. The original story did not have chapters so I had to cut it at certain places which makes for uneven chapters. Sorry! =P**

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She awoke and looked around sleepily. There was an indent in the spot of her bed next to her where someone had been most of the night. She looked around hurriedly and then settled herself. It hadn't been a dream. It couldn't have been a dream. He had felt so real. She got up and put a robe around her and walked out into the hall. Duo was there waiting for her. He grinned at her mischievously and she blushed embarrassed by what he must be thinking. She looked at her watch.

"Duo it's not your shift yet. Where's Heero?" She asked trying to change the subject. But what she really wanted to know was why Heero wasn't with her. Duo's wink told her he knew more than she wished he did, but then he shrugged his shoulders.

"Last I heard you fired him. He went to Lady Une early this morning to turn in his uniform." She looked at him shocked.

"No! Why would he do that? He knew I didn't mean it. Then…" She wanted to say 'last night' but thought better of it with Duo right beside her.

"It's how he is Lena. He accomplished his mission and now I guess it's time for him to move on." He shrugged and Relena walked away from him. It could only be guessed that _she_ had been his mission and now he was moving on from her.

She felt depressed all day and for the next following week and month. She had finally felt secure and happy and then he left her again. She wondered how long it would take before he would come back again.

As always she buried herself in work the next few months. Her emotions were like a roller coaster constantly going this way and that. It was just like before when he had left. Unfortunately all the work was getting to her physically and emotionally and Sally was concerned about her health.

"Relena, have you been feeling alright?" Relena nodded her head.

"I've been fine, I just…"

"Relena, I think you are suffering from depression. Have you been feeling tired, not in your usual spirits? Sad?" Relena looked at Sally their eyes meeting. The look was enough to tell Sally all she needed. It seemed everyone knew of what happened and the thought made her embarrassed.

"I'm fine, really Sally." Sally gave an uncertain smile.

"I'd like to do a physical examination of you if that'd be okay. Just to make sure it isn't anything else." Relena just shrugged and let the doctor do as she wished. An hour later, she left and went to her meeting that had been scheduled and thought nothing more about it. When she got back Sally's message was waiting and she was escorted by Wufei personally to hear her results. All the extra attention made her nervous.

She entered into the room a bit self conscious and saw Sally waiting at her desk. She looked up and smiled at Relena with an odd little smile. When she had dismissed Wufei with a curious look she turned her attention to her patient.

"Is something the matter, Sally?" She tried not to sound nervous, but Sally looked at her oddly.

"No, don't get me wrong. You're in excellent health Relena. You could do with a bit more nourishment, but we'll work on that in a bit, but I did find something…" Sally began.

"I thought you said I was fine…"

"You are, you're perfectly fine, well… Relena have you been feeling odd lately or is there something you should tell me?" Sally pushed Relena trying to make her give something in, but the confused look she gave must have bothered the good doctor. Relena looked at her oddly as Sally sighed and began to be nervous again.

"I don't understand." She whispered.

"Relena, I think you're pregnant." Sally finally said. Relena stared at her and let out a noise of shock. She felt herself slump in the chair and became pale. Her mind started to turn and she started rethinking the past few months. She suddenly felt nauseous.

"It can't be…" She doubled over feeling the gag in the back of her throat. Sally looked at her strictly.

"Can't it? Relena I've already sent a report to Lady Une. No doubt, she will want to see you soon." Relena leapt to her feet almost as if she had been betrayed. Her cheeks colored.

"What? Sally…I just don't understand…" The confusion was just enough to keep her unaware of all that happening. Sally gave her a sweet smile.

"Don't worry Relena, it will be alright. I'll start you on a new diet immediately. We'll have to discover how far along you are and…" Relena got up and Sally stopped talking. She couldn't take it. She had to leave. She left and went to her office where she could sit in peace. She had to think. She had to understand.

She had a political career to worry about. As of now she was one of the most influential politicians in the world and to make matters worse she was unwed. There wasn't even a boyfriend or fiancée. The people would think she was crazy. The reporters would find out soon enough and when they did she would be doomed. She shivered at the thought. They were like animals with the scent of blood in their nostrils.

Then there was the child, that unknown entity growing inside her. It would be all alone in the world, like its mother was now. She wanted to cry at the thought but instead began to think of her own family. Recently, she had received word Lucrezia had given birth to a little girl, but she hadn't heard the name. Somehow they had managed to hide a lot of information from the press, but she wasn't sure she could be so lucky. Especially the scandal it would cause. That would draw everyone to her. It made her depressed at the thought all the more.

"Relena." She looked up and saw Une had allowed herself in. She straightened up in her chair and eyed Une defiantly.

"I have read the report posted by Dr. Po. Do you care to explain?" Une asked almost in an overly protective motherly tone. Relena, however, was on the defensive.

"I believe everything was in the report, Lady Une." Relena retaliated. Lady Une settled down, knowing Relena was anything but shy.

"Relena it is my job to protect you and I feel compelled to know the specifics. Is it even _possible_ that you can be pregnant?" Relena looked away giving Une all the answer she needed.

"I see, well Relena I know you'll make the right decision in the end and be careful." With that Une got up and left in silence, leaving Relena to her thoughts.

The rest of her day was one that wasted away in a fog. She knew nothing about babies. She remembered looking at Duo's baby girl and wishing she had one of her own. Her hand went unconsciously to her abdomen. At that moment she wondered if the baby was a boy or a girl. The thought hung over her for a few days before she decided to see Duo and Hilde for a day to check in on them and their family. She wanted to see what it was like to have a family.

She called up Hilde as soon as she could and told her she would like to visit.

"Well of course, Relena. You're always welcome here, but is something wrong?" Hilde's worry made Relena worry just how much everyone knew. Hoping word hadn't spread that fast she attempted to remain neutral.

"Everything's fine, I just want some time away."

"Well come on over! We miss you! I'll prepare the guest bedroom. I'll see you later!" Just like her husband Hilde was all excitement when it came to friends. Relena said her goodbyes and hung up the phone. She took a deep breath and packed up her papers to go home and pack her things. She was going on a vacation. She decided she would take up Lady Une's suggestion for if not two, at least one assistant to help her with all her paperwork. A gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach told her she was going to need all the help she could get.

Peygan was waiting for her when she got home, but she ran past him like a blur and packed her things. He read her mind and was ready and waiting with the car to drive her to the Maxwell's. Although their home was small it was very nicely situated with a large backyard and enough room for their family. It made her smile to look at the quaintly situated house.

She thanked Peygan and watched him drive away before she turned to the door. She knocked and heard some screaming and running and wondered if everything was alright. The door opened and Hilde stood holding her baby girl in her arms and welcomed Relena in.

"Relena, hi! I am so sorry everything is a mess but the dynamic duo has been at it again. I think they are playing hide and seek, but you never know. But come in! How have you been? I haven't talked to you in a long time. What's new?" Relena walked in and sat down uncomfortably. Hilde sat opposite of her in another chair.

"Where is Duo, shouldn't he be back soon." Hilde looked at her watch.

"Well yes, I believe so, but don't let that interrupt our girl time. I tell you, having a little girl is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Dressing her up and putting ribbons on her head. She is just so adorable. Oh I am so sorry, barely two minutes in the door and we're talking about babies." She giggled to herself and the baby in her arms sucked on a cookie drooling beautifully over it.

"Well actually I came here to ask for your help." Relena bit her lip in anticipation. Hilde sat up straighter and her composure became more serious.

"Is something the matter? I thought you sounded upset over the phone. If you need anything don't hesitate to ask…" Relena was quiet as Hilde mumbled off and her eyes focused on her.

"Hilde, I'm pregnant." Hilde's eyes went wide. She shifted her baby to her other arm automatically.

"Are you sure? Well, who's the father?" There it was, the question of the year. This would not be the last time she would be faced with it. Relena was quiet for a moment, contemplating her words carefully.

"Yes, I'm sure. I'm only a few months gone, but as you've noticed I'm not married and I'm not sure if a baby would be such a great idea right now. There are so many things to consider, my career, my life. Everything would change." She felt her eyes begin to water and she fought back tears. She succeeded and wiped one drop that had escaped on to her cheek.

"Oh Relena," Hilde touched her hand gently, "don't worry about anyone else. The only person you have to consider is you. Will you be happy?" Relena was quiet for a moment. She had never considered her own happiness. It had always been about everyone else, a politician's curse. She heard Hilde sigh and turned back to her friend.

"Have you told the father yet?' Relena shook her head and Hilde sighed.

"Well I would suggest that would be the first person you talk to about this." Hilde offered. She began to stand up and Relena looked at her oddly. The baby began to shift and whine and Hilde went to the kitchen to begin preparing a bottle. Relena followed nervously.

"I wish I could tell him, but I don't know where he is." Hilde stopped what she was doing and turned to Relena as if expecting more information. Relena sighed deeply and fought with the right words. Of course sometimes it's just easier to go with something simple. No fancy dialect would get her out of this mess.

"It's Heero." She mustered in a slight whisper. Hilde's eyes went wide as her mind began to decipher the problem.

"Oh I see. Well I can try to talk to Duo and see if there is any way we can find him." Relena turned to her in desperation.

"Look Hilde I don't know about this, this is my problem not Heero's."

"Heero is as much to blame for this as you and he deserves the right to know." Somehow, Hilde's determined compositions calmed Relena but it didn't make her less nervous. She wasn't able to think straight and she was grateful someone could.

"Daddy! Daddy!" Screaming boys ran past them as Duo waddled his way in with a boy on each leg. He laughed and tickled them off his feet taking his Preventor jacket off. He looked up and kissed his wife and baby girl and turned to Relena to wrap her in his arms.

"Good to see ya Lena. What were you two chicks talking about?" Hilde cleared her throat and gave Relena a sharp look before turning around and preparing the bottle she had had in her hand.

"Duo, I want to know if you could try to find Heero for me. I have to tell him something important." She hesitated.

"I'm pregnant." The words were out and Duo went still and gave her a look of shock. It was probably the last thing he expected or wanted right now. But even to Duo it was obvious Relena was upset about this situation and he was never one to turn away a friend.

"Well son of a gun. I'll do my best to find him, but you of all people should know if Heero doesn't want to be found he won't be. But don't let that stop you from staying as long as ya like!" He shouted back at her down the hall and she smiled in spite of herself. Sally said it would be another few months before it would become obvious she was with child and she didn't look forward to it. But it bought her time, time to sink into the thought and analyze every detail.

She had a wonderful stay with Duo and Hilde and they took every opportunity to pass the baby into her arms. When she took the baby into her arms she felt relieved and happy. She wanted a baby of her own to be happy with, no matter what anyone said.

It was seeing Duo and Hilde with their family that set her mind straight. She wanted a family like she had growing up. To add to things, she wasn't getting any younger. And although she wasn't old, her political career made it very hard to find someone she was compatible with and would spend the rest of her life with. Then there would be the whole pressure of having children and it just wasn't something she wanted to be a part of.

Of course another matter completely was the thought of the child being Heero's. She had waited so long and even dreamt about this. Sure things hadn't turned out as she hoped but when was she ever going to have another chance at this?

* * *

A month passed and then another one. Still Duo had had very little luck finding Heero. He looked every week and sent out messages to the colonies looking for him, but he was nowhere to be found. Finally one day an anonymous message came in for him and he took it quickly. Heero's face flashed across the screen but it was impossible to tell where he was by the background alone.

"I hear you've been looking for me." His death glare bore right through Duo. But the God of Death had little time to waste with pleasantries.

"Heero, look Relena is in trouble. She needs to see you." Heero's eyes narrowed in disbelief. Heero had always watched carefully over Relena, everyone knew that. IF there was threat against Relena he would know of it first.

"You're lying to me, what's going on Duo." Duo straightened his collar nervously.

_God why do I always have to be the one to break the bad news._ He thought to himself.

"Look it's urgent, Heero. I wouldn't have looked for ya, if I didn't have to. Just trust me on this, Buddy. Relena needs to see you." Heero's death glare returned.

"I have monitored no threat against her. What could you have possibly found that I didn't?" Despite the obvious insult Duo rolled his eyes.

"Look Heero…"

"I'm a little busy right now Duo. I'll double check the security systems, but I assure you Relena is in no danger." With that the monitor clicked off before Duo could say anything more. The braided pilot banged his fists heavily against the desk and cursed.

He got onto the monitor and called home. Hilde picked up and turned to look at him.

"Duo, what's going on?"

"I finally got a hold of Heero today, but I don't think he'll be showing up anytime soon."

"Duo what did you say? This could have been our only chance to help Relena. Have you noticed she has already started to show? It won't be long before the jackets and the black clothes she wears will not be able to hide it anymore." She paused and sighed.

"I know. I'll see you later hon." He turned off the monitor and groaned to himself.

"Damn it Heero."

* * *

Heero was quiet for a moment. He had been worried by Duo's incessant badgering and now he was even more worried about his conversation. He had prided himself in watching her every move and knowing if anyone was thinking of endangering her. Taking out his computer he began to type furiously. He checked over foreign reports and anything that seemed suspicious. Nothing was out of the ordinary. He folded his hands in front of his chin for a moment and opened up the Preventors database. He went over all of Relena's private files with ease seeing if he could find anything. The only thing out of the ordinary was the overly frequent medical reports. Slowly he opened them one by one moving around the encrypted files.

Diligently, he opened the first report and read it. Then he opened another report and another. The finding made him shift uneasily in his chair. It was obvious this was what had caused Duo's anxiety. He looked around his room for a moment and picked up his jacket. With one last look at the reports on his computer, he walked out of the room.


	4. Chapter 4

Relena was exhausted when she finally got home. She left her shoes at the door and walked up to her room. Her guards waited outside of her room as she began to undress. She looked at herself in the mirror. Slowly she took off her jacket. The black outfits she had become accustomed to wearing did well in hiding the bulge that had begun to grow on her abdomen. She touched it with her hand and felt the expanse of it. She took a deep breath unaware of the pair of eyes that followed her every movement.

Heero had wanted to see for himself the extent of the information he had discovered. He found himself groaning inwardly at his own foolishness. Now he had a decision to make. Should he reveal himself or leave like he always did. He looked at her, tracing his eyes over her form. Her energy and spirit had drawn him to her in the first place. It had taken many months after they had first met and their consecutive meetings to convince himself she was special and different from any other woman in the world. He had come to develop strong feelings for her and had always watched over her. It felt almost like his only mission was to protect her. And now it seemed he had done the opposite.

He knew he didn't deserve her, he didn't deserve the dove of peace. He was a perfect soldier, a killing machine. What right did he have to sully Relena Peacecraft's perfect name with his bloody past? He shifted in the shadows unsure of what to do. He still stared at her figure and thought back to their one night together.

It had been the best night of his life.

"Relena." She jumped in the air and turned to face him. He came out of the shadows. The expression on her face changed drastically, she looked like she had just gotten caught doing something wrong.

"Heero." Her cheeks burned. His stare went straight through her.

"You look good." He mustered. She felt her cheeks redden some more and put her hand to her growing abdomen thoughtfully. His eyes followed her hands and she felt her cheeks burn even more. She noticed he was steadily moving closer to her. She felt her breath become coarse with him so close.

She looked so beautiful in the moonlight. He had to see for himself. He had to see _her_ for himself.

Against his better instincts he stayed with her that night and he felt a sense of relief. When he thought she was asleep he shifted and got up out of the bed. He moved around the room shirtless.

She was so frail looking. He didn't deserve her, yet he wanted her. He looked at her soft form. He went over to her balcony doors and opened them. He turned sharply around. Relena had sat up and was staring at him.

"Don't leave." She whispered desperately. He felt his heart sink if it was at all possible. Suddenly he hardened. He had no heart.

"I can't stay." Her eyes turned from desperation to a cold stare.

"Heero, what do you do when you go?" As he looked at her, he realized she had to know and now he finally had to tell her. He began to put his jacket on and gave her one last look. Perhaps now she would not want him anymore.

"I'm an assassin." He said coldly and left her. She got up and went to the window and looked out. He was gone again. He would always be like this, she just had to accept it.

Oddly, it didn't bother her that he was an assassin. She should have guessed he would be restless after the war. He had been trained since he was a child to be a professional killer. He was the perfect soldier. She couldn't expect him to be anything less.

After the press found out, the press conferences sky rocketed. Everyone wanted to know who the father was and if she was getting married. She refused to answer any of the questions. Many magazines began circulating the idea she didn't _even_ know who the father was. She had felt this tactic before. They were urging her trying to get her to break. She refused.

Those closest to her knew who the father was or had a pretty good guess and that was good enough for her. So she waited. She hired two assistants to help her with her paperwork and since then she had been able to get home at decent hours. She even found Duo's cracks about her weight funny.

She felt bloated and huge all at once and she counted down the days until her expected due date. She hadn't seen Heero in months but she knew he was nearby watching over her. He didn't live out in the open and it would be wrong of her to ask him to do so. It was enough he was nearby. Sometimes he kept her company at night, even thought she didn't see him, she knew he was there. It made her feel safe.

* * *

The day of her labor flew by slowly. It was like a daze. She only remembered pain and joy. It was the day her son was born. She had already picked out a boy's name and she named him Andrew.

He was so tiny and wonderful and all her friends were there to visit her in the hospital. Everyone was there except the person that really mattered. It was all fine until the doctor demanded to have the name of the father on the birth certificate. Relena was quiet for a moment. Everyone stood around her in silence waiting for an answer.

"Trowa Barton." Trowa ventured. Relena turned to Trowa in astonishment and the doctor wrote the name.

"Oh but doctor, I want the baby to have my last name." The doctor grunted and walked away. As he walked away everyone turned to Trowa.

"Trowa, you didn't have to do that." Relena whispered quietly. He shrugged.

"It isn't my name to begin with, it doesn't matter anyways." She smiled at him in thanks and waited for everyone to leave. When they were all gone she stayed awake all night thinking of her son.

* * *

Going home was the biggest part of it. You left your house one person and came back two. All the way home he cried, but it was easier on Relena to care for him while Peygan drove home. As soon as they got home she walked him around the house. She read the front page news and saw the announcement of her baby. She didn't even bother reading the article. She just cared about her tiny baby. She hugged him close that night and gave him his first bottle. The warm milk put him fast asleep and she tucked him into his crib.

"Relena." She turned around and saw Heero standing right behind her. She moved aside so he could look at the baby in the crib. She felt like she was awaiting his approval but instead he just stared at the baby. He didn't motion to touch him or hold him.

Relena waited patiently as he stared at the baby. There was a smile on his face, one she was rarely graced with.

"Heero, his name is Andrew. The doctor asked me who the father was…" she was silent for a moment as his dark blue eyes fixed on her warningly, "Trowa gave him his name, but he will still bear the Peacecraft name." Heero nodded. He seemed distant. Names meant so little to him. He hardly owned his own, how could he expect his child to as well?

"Do you want to hold him?"

"I can't. I don't deserve him."

"Heero whatever you did in the past means nothing to him. All he will ever want in life is a father and I would like it if he knew his real one." Heero became angry and he gave her the death glare.

"And when other kids ask him what his father does and he will say, he's an assassin. Will you think it so fine then?"

"Heero, you don't have to be an assassin. The war is over, who is there left to kill?" Heero stared into her eyes and she felt a shiver run down her spine.

"Anyone who tries to harm you." Relena's mouth shut and she walked closer to him.

"Heero, please why can't you just stay? Don't you want to be a part of your son's life?" He turned to her and eyed her once more. The baby shifted in his sleep and pouted his lips in earnest.

"Relena, I didn't want this. I thought if I went away you would move on and you didn't. I will do him better good from afar than nearby." He turned away from her and tore herself away from the crib. He moved towards the window and jumped drifting into the shadows. Relena stared after him.

"Heero, all I want is you."

* * *

The months passed and Relena became enveloped in her son's life. She still completed most of her duties as a Vice-Foreign minister, but she felt even that life slipping away from her. She had waited patiently for his eyes to change their color when he was born and when they did she felt a slight yearning in her heart. There was no denying his paternity anymore. The others recognized it immediately too, some of them actually becoming uncomfortable at the realization.

Sometimes she would lay awake at night waiting for him to cry for her, but as he got older his yearnings became less and less and she missed the quality time it had often afforded her.

She went to visit Duo and Hilde more so that her son could get some interaction with their daughter. She felt bad keeping him locked away from so many people but at least once a month she got a chance to visit with her friends. Hilde reveled in seeing the boy grow and often gave Relena crucial advice on what to do and not to do.

Finally at midday the two women set their kids down for a nap. Duo had gone out with the boys which gave Relena some precious girl time with Hilde.

"Relena don't mind me asking but has Heero even seen Andrew yet." Relena was startled by the question but nodded her head anyways. She had tried not to think about Heero so much, which is why she focused all of her time on her child, but looking at him always reminded her of Heero.

"Does he come by at all to help you or anything?" Relena jerked out of her thoughts and shook her head. Hilde looked down and away ashamed at Heero's behavior.

"I can't believe he would do something like that. Doesn't he understand Andrew needs both of you?" Hilde's rising irritation made Relena uncomfortable. Relena was quiet for a moment and contemplative. Hilde waited patiently for the words to settle in. Somehow over the past few months Relena had come to accept Heero. She no longer pined over his so much, her son was just too important to her now. Then when her child looked up at her with those same eyes it was almost like a piece of him was with her always.

"He's afraid. He's lived his whole life on the run and now he has obligations. I don't blame him for feeling that way. But I think the hardest part for him is what he has done and how he feels it may affect our son. I guess to him, a bad parent is worse than none at all." Relena rationalized every word, barely a drop of emotion hanging upon her features.

"But I don't think Heero would be a bad parent." Hilde said.

"No, it's his past. He's afraid of what his son will think of him or maybe he's more afraid that his son will become him." They were both silent until Andrew awoke from his nap to be fed and played with once more.

As she left and they said their goodbyes, Hilde couldn't help feeling sorry for Relena. When Duo came home she let it all out in frustration.

"I can't believe he is doing this to her. It's almost as if he doesn't want to acknowledge he made a mistake and it happens to be crawling." Duo hushed her and sat her down.

"I'm sure it's none of our business…" Hilde cut him off.

"Duo, you should talk to him, find him and tell him how wonderful it is to be a dad. He'd listen to you." Duo rolled his eyes.

"About as much as he'd listen to a rock. I don't know, we'll see what happens, Hilde. You know how hard he is to track down." Truth to be told, Duo had seen Heero at least once. Ever since Andrew was born, Heero didn't wander far. It made Duo wonder just how much interaction he did get with his son. But he guessed very little or Relena would have seemed happier. He knew Trowa had come across him on more than one occasion and had actually spoken with him, but about what was lost to him. He decided talking to Trowa was the best course of action.

The next day he tracked Trowa down relentlessly and finally came across his comrade at arms.

"Trowa! Buddy! Got a spare minute to talk?" Without another suggestion Duo wrapped his arm around Trowa's neck and Trowa lifted an eyebrow.

"Look it's about Heero. Hilde's worried about Relena and Andrew. Do you know anything?" Trowa shook his head. It was not his place to butt into Heero's business and he never really wanted to but he did guess it was about time for a talk between them. He waited at his usual post that night and left Relena for a second. He checked all the usual spots for Heero twice before he finally found him. He sought him out in all secrecy and confronted the other man wearily.

"Is there something I can do for you, Trowa?" Heero barely acknowledged his friend as his eyes and ears were perked at the ready, attentive to everything around them.

"The others are concerned about Relena and Andrew." Heero who had been in a crouch stood up expanding into his full height. He met Trowa eye to eye with his famous glare.

"They're worried you don't see him enough and I'm sure Relena misses you." Trowa continued unemotionally. Heero's eyes narrowed.

"He wouldn't want a father like me." Heero replied in the same tone.

"Don't you think that's his choice to make?" Trowa's soft voice broke the silence.

"I'm an assassin…"

"He's your son. Remember what it was like growing up? Not knowing who your family was. Professions change Heero, but he'll only be a kid for a little while." Trowa's voice was soft and low without a hint of expression. But the words stuck on to Heero and they parted company after there was no intended response. He sat there for a while and stared up at Relena's room, the light long off and the window he knew where his son lay behind. Stealthily he crept over to the wall and hiding in the shadows crawled up the length of the wall and unlocked the window effortlessly and silently.

He hopped into the dark room and immediately shut the window silently. He looked around cautiously and turned his gaze towards the ornate crib. He looked over the edge watching his son slumber. The babe before him was so small and he slept so quietly. He reached down and placed a finger in the baby's open grasp. Instantly the child clutched his hand and yet still remained asleep.

He hesitated and took the child into his arms. It was the first time he had ever held his own son before and he marveled at how heavy and strong the baby was. The infant snuggled a bit within his grasp and Heero held him tighter. He was careful not to hold him too tight, afraid he would hurt the child or worse, wake him.

He turned his head as he heard Relena's familiar footsteps coming down the hall. She turned in and her footsteps stopped. He had returned his gaze down to the baby in his arms not wanting to meet her gaze.

"Heero?" She whispered. He looked up then and met her gaze. She swallowed seeming at a loss of words for a while. It was almost as if she wanted this moment to last forever.

"He looks just like you, Heero." Again there was that awkward silence. He was entranced by the child. Meanwhile Relena looked on in admiration. After what seemed like a long time the baby began to turn and Heero set him back down in the crib gently and gazed at him once more. Relena took a step hesitantly in his peripheral vision.

"Are you going to leave again?" She asked in a hushed tone. He looked over to her, his serious gaze regarding her harshly and she felt her body go numb. He came over to her and touched her face lovingly and bent down and kissed her softly. Her spine was creeping with electric shocks and she felt her body tense. Slowly he leaned over to her ear kissing her neck.

"No." His whisper tickled her ear but she felt her entire body stiffen. She couldn't believe he had decided to stay. He took her hands in his and led her outside of the baby's room and back into her bedroom. That night Trowa had made it a point to remain scarce and it had been a good decision too.

* * *

Relena awoke feeling calm and at ease. It was still dark out from what she could see and turning she felt the unmistakable presence of another. She sat up in bed quickly and saw Heero awake sitting at his computer peacefully. He looked up as she gazed at him and slowly closed the computer and headed back towards the bed. She stared at him in surprise unsure of what to expect.

He crawled under the covers beside her and sat next to her. She moved her head on to his warm chest and listened slowly to his beating heart. She fell asleep again like this comforted by his warmth and tenderness.

When she awoke again, the spot beside her was cold. She shot up and immediately knew he had left. Her hands gripped the sheets in the heat of the moment and then she relaxed. She should have foreseen this.

She looked at her clock hesitant at the late time and stood up to do her daily routine. She went out to check on her son first before she would start to prepare for work. When she got to his room, she saw the familiar figure of his father holding him gently like he had the night before.

"Oh Heero." She whispered thankful she had been wrong.

* * *

**A/N: Stay tuned for the epilogue!**


	5. Epilogue

Epilogue

He stayed for years, watching his son grow. He became Relena and Andrew's personal bodyguard shadowing them always. It made it easier when going out into public, because no one suspected him as long as he stayed in the shadows.

But as his son grew the resemblance became uncanny and eventually the world began to figure out what their Vice-foreign minister's secret was. Tabloids were lined with the news as the suspicion of the child's father was once more aroused. Some were outraged that their leader would stoop so low as to associate with a mere Preventor. And yet others were sure they had seen his face before.

The identities of the gundam pilots were safe, buried and locked away into oblivion known only by those who had known them. Although the war was over, Heero persisted with the Preventors and was sometimes gone on long missions.

As time went on Relena knew he would always come back to her.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you for reading! I have actually started on a sequel but it isn't finished. =( So I don't know if I will be posting it. What do you guys think? Would you like to find out what happens to everyone?**


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